When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
