I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
