I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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