You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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