don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
