A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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