the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
