My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
