Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
