Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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