Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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