Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Pants are for mortals
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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