We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize