can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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