Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
