I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize