So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
