doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
