i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
