If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
