All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
why is half of my head shaved?
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