You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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