Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Randomize
