I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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