She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
