We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
