dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
God I need to hump something, right now.
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