no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
