I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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