i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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