I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize