Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
