you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
