She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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