i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
