The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
