your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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