Where is the hickey?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
