he looks like a really good dad on facebook
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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