every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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