Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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