Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
