is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
