Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize