It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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