I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
