Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
