Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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