conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
