I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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