...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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