Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think my moral compass just broke
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