We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I didn't notice because vodka
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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