Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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