is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize