So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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