Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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