This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just tell him i said nine months
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
