He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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