What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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