he wants to bone in the snuggie
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
