Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This house was built for laser tag.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I enjoy the company of your penis
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
