doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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