Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
