i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
