I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
